I seriously debated about whether to post anything today at all. I had a Waiting on Wednesday post scheduled but I wasn’t sure whether or not to go ahead with it or not. I have been pretty lax over the last couple of weeks with both posting and keeping on top of comments.
I love when people leave comments on my posts – the interaction is the best part of blogging for me. But I haven’t felt like myself over the last couple of weeks and I have struggled trying to respond to all the lovely folks who have been so kind to check out my posts and leave a comment.
You see, it has been a struggle because this time last year I lost my mum. I posted about it at the time but I still haven’t really gotten to grips with the loss – I am not sure I ever will. In many ways my mum was my best friend and although I am very lucky to have a wonderful fiancé, some really great friends, and supportive family members, it still doesn’t fill the hole that has been left in my life.
My mum passed away on May 6th 2014. It is a day etched into my memory. She was diagnosed with cancer about 6 months before so although I was prepared to lose her, it still came as a massive shock when it happened. I miss her. I always will.
The last year has been tough but I have tried to get through it as best I can. I know my mum would have wanted me to be strong. She was always there for me and encouraged me to go for what I wanted. My love of reading, I got from my mum. Same with my love of music. I am a lot like her in many ways and although at one point the thought would have given me pause, it now makes me smile.
Miss you mum.
Well now look at what you done? Making my eyes all sweaty! *sniffs*
That’s such a personal thing to share and thanks for the glimpse! I’m so sorry! I’m trying to empathize with you but I haven’t lost anyone so dear to me, so I can’t even begin to imagine all the hardships you might be going through! I love my mom so much and I don’t want to imagine what I’d do without her. Losing a parent seems so distant, only ever on books or movies so when I hear someone that actually has lost a parent, something in me just breaks… ):
*gives Brin a virtual hug* You’re strong, you can do this! 😀
~Fari 0:)
Sorry about that. 😉
Thanks for the lovely comment. It was a hard thing to share but I actually felt a lot better when I posted it. It was good to get my feelings out which is why blogging has been such a godsend this last year and a half.
*hugs back* Thanks so much for stopping by. I love the book blogging community – everyone is just so lovely and supportive of each other and I really grateful to be a part of it. <3
I’m so sorry for your loss Brin. What a tough year. My dad passed away 4.5 months ago, so I know how difficult it can be. Sometimes you get by okay, and other times the loss just overwhelms you. Hang in there. The first year especially seems just overwhelming at times. Thinking of you.
Thanks Kristi. I am really sorry to hear about your dad *hugs*. I know how hard the first few months are. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am always here. <3
Thanks Brin. Hugs back to you, too. I hope today is a little bit better for you.
It has actually been a little bit better, thanks. That’s the odd thing about grief – you have ups and downs. Sometimes you just have to go with it. 🙂
Quote:
“I seriously debated about whether to post anything today at all.”
I think it’s good that you ultimately decided to. It’s both a public memorial to your amazing mum and a cathartic act. Also, we’re not just book bloggers – we’re human beings first and foremost…
Quote:
“My love of reading, I got from my mum. Same with my love of music. I am a lot like her in many ways”
Same goes for me, so I can relate – though I still have both my parents. I seriously think one is never ready to lose them. Of course, no one can replace a beloved parent, or even come close, but you’re lucky to have other great people in your life. Hang on to them and the memories of your mum, bittersweet as they may taste. They’ll always make you rich – though this won’t dispel the sadness… {{{hugs}}
Thanks for your lovely comment. You are right, it actually was pretty cathartic putting my thoughts out there. Sometimes I bottle things up and it is not the healthiest way to deal with things. 🙂
I am really lucky for the people in my life. Sometimes I lose sight of that but it is important to remember. <3 I am also really grateful to this community. So many people have bolstered me up, possibly without even realizing it. 🙂
I’m so sorry for your loss Brin. Thinking of you and sending hugs. x
Thanks Rhoda, I really appreciate it *hugs back*. <3
I’m sorry for your loss. I know those words are really inadequate, but if they offer some comfort, I’m glad. This was a brave post. You shared a very personal thing. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Thanks so much for stopping by! Your words are in no way inadequate. I really appreciate your support and kind thoughts. <3
I know exactly what you are going through. On June 25th it will be the first anniversary of my mum’s death from cancer. She died 6 months after diagnosis and it was a horrific experience. I’m still finding it impossible to deal with and some days are worse than others. It’s such a cliche but the ‘one day at a time’ is the only way to get through it, and hope the next day is a better one. *hugs*
I’m so sorry about your mum. Sending lots of of hugs your way. It is an absolutely horrible experience. I had gone through it with other relatives which was awful but seeing my mum go through it was devastating.
I know what you mean, some days I am pretty much fine and other days the littlest thing can set me off in floods of tears. All you can do is take each day as it comes, you are absolutely right. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am always here. xx
So sorry for your loss Brin. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through as I’m fortunate enough to have my mum. Keep strong and keep the love of your favourite people around you and although it must hurt like hell I know you can make it through! 🙁
Thanks Beth. I am very lucky to have some great people in my life. It does make it all a little easier. Thanks for the lovely comment. <3